I thought the hurt would stop
the pain would go away
that I would, probably, along the way stop bleeding
but, no, now I just don't bleed on the inside
but on the outside too
I hide it all these years
the hatred
the resilience
I had developed to shield myself
to not feel you
for your hateful words to not penetrate my soul
I put up walls
some days you were nice
but even then after all this time
I have learned
I know enough not to get fooled
not to budge
not to let my guard down
I watch you from a distance
as I perceive thoughts
put you down
it's the hatred
that burns my body up
the pain you've created
that is the core of me
the emotionless beast
you have turned me to
yet emotions boil up to the surface
every now and then
and I fool myself
that may be you will see
what a good job you do at destroying
and turn yourself around
but, no, I know, that you
never will
I'm not hopeful anymore
I'm less scared now
see? a job well done
a pat on the back for
taking me down with you
you've have brought me to hell with you
